Dear Jennifer Lopez, Please stop making

Dear Jennifer Lopez,
Please stop making movies, they’re ridiculous.
Thanks,
J.B.

Parking in Dallas: $5. Dinner at Victory

Parking in Dallas: $5. Dinner at Victory Tavern: $60. Watching the Mavs beat the Spurs: PRICELESS!!!!!!

Hi

Hi

Mally the Malibu: 1 Cop Cameras: 0

If anyone actually reads this thing, I’ve got something that will brighten your day!

So I was driving too fast one night and decided that instead of slamming on my brakes I would just go through the yellow light….I knew I was pushing it and as I made my way across the intersection I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a camera FLASH!!!!

Now typically I would be stressing over whether I’d be receiving a ticket in the mail from those dang cameras on top of stoplights now-a-days, but not that night!

Not only was I not worried but I actually did a small victory dance in my seat because I HAVE NO BUMPER!!!  No bumper=no license plate.  You should read my very first blog, I have just a few, so scrolling time is minimal.. but you will see that I have no bumper since it recently detached itself from my car….so all I have to say is take that stupid cop cameras!!!

BOOYAH.

Side Note:  1. My license plate is in my car for all you readers who are in law enforcement, I still need to fix it…er….

Where are the midgets?

I’m seriously asking.  I really want to know where they live.  I don’t mean to be offensive or rude, but when you think about it, when do you EVER see midgets???  I see them in movies….Elf…Austin Powers…but WHERE do they come from?  Are there certain cities or suburbs that they live in?  Why don’t I ever see shopping centers for them?

Also, if anyone knows, what is the politically correct/acceptable term for Midgets?

Thanks!

-Me

RAIN! I’m gonna live forever, people will remember my name

Texas rain is a rare occasion during the summer and fall, yet this year has been quite the exception.  If you recall my job of training horses (in an outdoor facility) you will sympathize with my utility bill, for everyday I’m washing mud out of my jeans and shirts.

My boss has built her ranch on soil that loves to suck your boots into the ground.  Damp weather creating new depths in the mud, preventing walking and especially running; making heavy hay bales harder to carry-especially for my 5’7″ 130 frame.

That place would be PIG HEAVEN no doubt.  I wish I had a picture to share…

Calling All Regret

Do you ever wake up and feel like you could have been so much more?  You could have done so much more with your life?  Today is that day for me.

Things I wish I would have done:

Stayed in vet school

Studied harder

Followed Christ more adamantly when I was in college

I know I should be thankful for what I have, and I have a lot, but sometimes I just wonder…what would my life have been like had I joined a church at OSU, stayed in their pre-vet program, and graduated on time.

No looking back now, that would be pointless…..I won’t spend any more of my twenties dreaming….I’ll start doing.

Day 525,600

I’m so bored, seriously.  B.O.R.E.D.  He’s been gone TEN days and you know what?  I don’t even miss him anymore.  It’s like I’ve waited so long for him to get back that I’m almost indifferent to the fact that he ever left.  My bulldog is chasing a fly in the house as I write this, it’s pretty hilarious.  He’ll never catch it, not that he realizes that.  I don’t know what switched off in me, really.  I just, when he left I missed him so much that I think I squeezed out all of the pain until I didn’t feel anything anymore.  I remember what it feels like to be single again, lonely, unsure, a little insecure; but you know what?  Even though I don’t like this feeling of loneliness and solitude, I don’t know what it’s going to be like when he gets back, tomorrow.

Do I talk to him?  Tell him how I don’t miss him anymore, don’t know if I even need him anymore to be happy?  All of our friends are married an engaged, and that was our next step, we talked about it, but how do I tell him I’m not sure it’s right anymore?

Day2: Frustration

I need money.  My bumper fell off, and I have bills to pay.  I have two jobs at the moment, training horses during the week and car-hopping at Sonic Drive-In on the weekends.

Well, its winter-time, and the baby horses that were born last spring are done trained and ready to go!  So work at the ranch is slow.  This weekend I took off at Sonic to go to Vegas to visit my boyfriend who’s playing in some poker tournaments.  Therefore, losing the money I could have been making at Sonic.

Well my flight attendant friend who was going to set it up for me with her buddy pass backed out this morning.  A DAY before our departure date.   Ugh.  Why?  This sucks.  I can’t re-schedule myself into work this weekend.  I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I was SO looking forward to playing Black 35.

Day 1: 35 West

Last week my bumper detached itself from my car while on the highway.  No kidding.  It just fell right off.  I heard a crash and thought to myself, “hmmm…I didn’t feel an impact..” look in the rear-view mirror and there my bumper was-spiraling down the highway in the opposite direction.

My poor Malibu, who I call Mally, has had a rough go.  She was hit by another driver last spring while minding her own business (in her parking spot) and left to sit there, without any witness to who did it, bumper scratched and hanging off until I found her hours later.  After I expelled my rage through fist movements, and curse words hammering through my brain until my face went red, I re-attached my poor Chevy’s bumper, and with blackened hands drove her home.  Since then the bumper has never been on quite right, since I did it myself and should have taken it to a professional bumper reconstructionalist.

I suppose I had it coming that day, whipping down the highway at 70 mph, Mally’s bumper being tested against the velocity of my high-class Chevy Malibu.  Once I U-turned and maneuvered the bumper into my backseat, I headed to work, not before calling my boss and explaining the situation.

It was an adventure to say the least, and if anything it has become more of an adventure explaining to friends and family alike why I am now driving a Transformer.